Long Beach Golf

Wickaninnish Inn Pro-Am

2010-09-11T15:07:00.000-07:00

Dear Sir/Madam:

I feel fortunate to have lived and worked in this area for quite some time now. Because I am grateful for this good fortune, I feel it is my duty and obligation to give back to the community in which I live and work. I shop locally, and try to support the community in whichever limited way I might.

Since I operate a small business, I get asked an awful lot to donate to this cause and that cause. Sometimes I wonder where the money is actually going, and how much good it is doing. But, every year about this time, I get asked to support the Wickanninish Inn Pro-Am, and I am always happy to give, because this particular cause is in support of the kids at our local high school.

It seems as though the government doesn’t think it’s important to provide funding to the high school so that the sports teams and academic teams can compete against other schools. There’s no money for new uniforms or for the transportation to these events. No money for field trips. You would think that they would give more money since we are so isolated, but that just isn’t the case. I guess we’re just too small for them to care much about.

But it makes sense to me to care about it. I know, from my own experience, how good it felt to play against other schools and to make new friends and to test my abilities in competition. I still have contact with the friends that were my teammates back in high school. I still remember the pride I felt when I put on my new jersey for the first time…

I know that it is a hard world and it feels like it is getting tougher every day. I think that these kids need a break, so that they have a chance when they get out of school. If donating some money to the Wickanninish Inn Pro-Am means that these kids get a bit of a break, if it means they learn to compete and make friends and have pride in their community then I am all for it.

And in that small way I manage to give a bit back to the community in which I work and I live.

Sincerely,

Citizen

Longbeach staff interviews Tiger

2010-04-01T17:03:00.000-07:00

Longbeach golf course staff Chris Kennedy interviews Tiger Woods.

EXCLUSIVE TIGER WOODS INTERVIEW

In a surprising development, the Media Director of Tiger Woods International called me up the other day and told me that I had the opportunity to have an exclusive and unlimited interview with Tiger Woods himself. “He’s a big fan”, said the Media Director, “so he wants you to be the one who gives the world the unvarnished truth.”

“I’m not a big fan, but what the hell, let’s give it a shot.”

“Good”, said the Media Director, “he’ll be there in about 5 minutes.”

Sure enough, an orange and black and white striped jet was taxi-ing down the runway. Tiger was carried by four burly men on a litter into the pro shop. He dismissed his minions and sat down in a chair and looked at me expectantly. He appeared to be relaxed and confident.

ME: Tiger, how are you doing?

TIGER: I have been bad. I have been disgusting. I have been reprehensible. I have acted deplorably. I stink. I suck. But, other than that, I’m feeling pretty good.

ME: You seem to be dressed rather…unusual?

TIGER: I’m glad you asked me that. I am wearing a replica of a genuine Buddhist monk robe, made by Nike. I’m a Buddhist, you know.

ME: Yes, I’ve heard. Now, about the accident that you had on Thanksgiving weekend…

TIGER: The detailing of this robe is fantastic! It’s just like the genuine article. It’s made from a new synthetic material that absorbs sweat and wicks away moisture, yet is still as comfortable as cotton. It actually breathes. It comes in bright red, and has both the Nike and TW logos on it. But other than the material, color and logos it is an exact replica of the robes worn by actual Buddhist monks, who I admire greatly, being Buddhist myself.

ME: It’s very nice. When you had your accident…

TIGER: You don’t get the TW logo on just anything, you know. It has to be top drawer in quality. And you know what? It’s completely wash and wear. If you get it dirty, you know, after a hard day meditating, you just pop it into the machine and it comes out looking just like new! It’s available at all the major stores and in pro shops now!

ME: I wouldn’t be caught dead in one. Now, getting back to the accident…

TIGER: It’s all in the police report.

ME: Well, actually, there are a lot of unanswered questions because, oddly enough, there is very little detail in the police report.

TIGER: Well, I can hardly be responsible for what the Florida Highway Patrol puts in their reports now, can I? But I will tell you this: if you are in an accident in which you hit both a tree and a fire hydrant, you can’t ask for a better vehicle for your personal safety than the Cadillac Escalade. Those things really stand up when it counts!

ME: We’ve heard the same sort of thing about you. What the world wants to know is why you got in the accident. Were you fleeing from an enraged Swede? Were you busy texting one of your many mistresses? What exactly happened?

TIGER: The Cadillac Escalade has leather upholstery, and is very luxurious. But, you would be surprised at how easily the vehicle handles in traffic, and, even more surprising, you would be amazed at how good the gas mileage is. If you’re in the market for a new vehicle, you can’t go wrong with the Cadillac Escalade. Those people at GM really know what they’re doing!

ME: Why are you being so evasive to my questions?

TIGER: I know that you are wondering about the bracelet around my wrist. Well, it’s a Buddhist thing. This one symbolizes protection and strength. But, the new Nike Tiger Woods Harmony Buddhist Collection has various bracelets symbolizing various attributes. They come in 6 different colors. We also sell a complete line of candles and incense.

ME: I see…perhaps you can tell us a bit about your frame of mind when you were engaging in your serial philandering.

TIGER: I will say this: I am deeply in love with my wife, and true love lasts longer than anything—even text messages.

ME: Now, you have referred to being in treatment in the last few interviews you’ve had. Can you tell us exactly what you are in treatment for?

TIGER: I have learned so much about the sense of entitlement I felt that was characteristic of my behavior during that dark, dark time when I was only winning one major and making 100 million dollars per year. I can’t tell you how dismal my life felt. At the treatment center they have taught me that it is necessary for me to show true humility and graciousness, and to be far more open than I have been in the past.

ME: And what are you in treatment for?

TIGER: That’s none of your business. Say, how about you get me something to drink?

ME: Oh, sure. We have water, and soft drinks, and a variety of both domestic and imported beer.

TIGER: Beer! Buddhists DO NOT drink beer! It’s unthinkable. What you really should offer me is Gatorade. Gatorade is full of all kinds of nutrients and fortified with electrolytes so that your thirst is quenched, and you feel invigorated. Gatorade is really good stuff!

ME: I didn’t realize that Buddhists were such big Gatorade drinkers. Now, when you were in treatment…

TIGER: As a Buddhist, it’s important for me to take baby steps in my recovery. That’s a Buddhist philosophy, and I had stranded from my Buddhist roots.

ME: Actually, I think it was Bill Murray’s philosophy in the movie, “What About Bob?”

TIGER: I know that you’re wondering about my watch. It’s a Tag Heuer, one of the best watches made. It’s very elegant. It’s Swiss, and the Swiss really know how to make a good watch. I can’t tell you what a comfort it is when I feel myself wandering-- you know, disconnected—and I can look at my wrist watch and know exactly what time it is, and that makes me feel better. You can’t say the same thing about that cheap Timex that you’re wearing.

ME: It’s a quarter after three. Now, you have spoken about how it is necessary for you to make amends, and that you are engaged in the process of changing, can you elaborate?

TIGER: Yes.

ME: Well, would you?
TIGER: During my treatment at the Whispering Stream Treatment Center, I have learned—with the help of many counselors—that I have felt entitled, that I fail to respect social boundaries, that I can be manipulative and controlling. But that’s all changed, thanks to the insight that they have allowed me to reach within myself. In fact, I am so delighted with the Whispering Stream Treatment Center that I have decided to buy the whole thing lock, stock and barrel!

ME: You bought the treatment center?

TIGER: Well, I bought the building and the fixtures and the whole program that they have developed. I couldn’t very well buy the people who work there, could I? And, to tell you the truth, there were some of them that I didn’t particularly care for. Well, now they’re gone, and the new crew I put in place have great plans to open up franchise centers all over the country. Very exclusive, very intense, very relaxing places where screwed up people can come and get fixed right up. We have a business plan and everything. Naturally, we will change the name. From now on, they will be known as the Tiger Woods Affirmative Transformation Treatment centers, or TWAT for short.

ME: That’s better than calling it Woody’s Sexual Crisis Center, I suppose. Now, about your relationship with your wife, Elin, since numerous infidelities came to light…

TIGER: One thing that I’m really excited about is another new venture that is deceptively simple. You know all that gold you have lying around the house collecting dust?

ME: Yes. It’s always in the way.

TIGER: Well, we’ve started a new branch of Tiger Woods International that accepts your gold. You just put it into an envelope and mail it to us, and we appraise it and within hours we send you a check! It’s a good way to get extra money so that you might afford a down payment on an Escalade, or buy a genuine Nike Buddhist robe, or stay for a few hours at one of the TWAT centers, or what-have-you.

ME: What a deal!

TIGER: Yes, it is. Just send us your gold and we’ll take care of the rest. We even accept broken gold. And diamonds and platinum, too! Just one thing, though. If you’re sending me an old engagement ring or wedding ring, make sure you send it to the office. DO NOT SEND IT TO MY HOUSE! If my wife should accidentally open up an envelope and a wedding or engagement ring drops out---well, she might not understand, and then it’s run for cover, if you know what I mean.

ME: I think I get the picture. What else does the golf fan have to look forward to?

TIGER: Look at this thing. I bet you’ve never seen one of these things before. It’s called the Slap-Chop, and you’ll be happy all day because you’re slapping your troubles away! It’s great for making salad, because we all love salad, but we hate making it. And it can chop nuts and veggies and all kinds of things. It’s fun, and inexpensive. And it comes with the Gratee, which is great for grating all your cheese for your linguini, fettucine, martini, bikini.

ME: It seems to me that you might be turning even more commercial than you were before the accident. It has been reported that you might lose an estimated 50 million dollars per year in lost endorsements. And there has always been the perception that you were selfish and greedy and focused far too much on your earning potential.

TIGER: Some of that might have been true, but believe me, I’ve changed.

Alaska Airlines Fails

2010-03-20T13:57:00.000-07:00

Alaska Airlines Fails
Well I decided to write this blog on my bad experience with Alaska Airlines not only yes for the bad experience, but more now for the lack of any care in any type of reply. When I did make contact with them there reply was our customer service department will contact you in 45 days. While it hasn’t been 45 days however, I mentioned to them that a week would be acceptable. Now the week and more has passed it’s a good time to vent about Alaska Airlines. My hopes with any complaint or concern truly isn’t to get anything FREE or to get refunded, its simply to insure large companies recognize they cannot continue to offer bad service to customers and that consumers have an expectation when they pay good money for trips, in this case a flight from Hawaii to Seattle.

Family Holiday
Family holiday from Tofino BC Via Seattle to Hawaii . I will say the flight down was enjoyable very common … a family of 4 books flights checks in sits together and gets to destination.. Bla Bla

Flight home not to so similar.
Its starts by arriving 1.5 hours before flight time to check in. Upon checking in counter attendant advisees me that they had errored and put all for of our family in the exit rows. As two family members were under 12 (actually 3 and 5 yrs old ) this wasn’t going to work very understandable …
So the lady said.. “ I realized the error so we had to put one child by herself and the other child in a seat by himself.. and the two adults can still sit in exit row together.” (yes jaw drops like yours if you have kids) Let me be clear that the suggested idea that the kids were NOT going to sit together … Also let me remind you that the kids are 3 and 5 yrs old.. So I said “ that won’t work the kids are 3 and 5” ….. and can’t sit by themselves….”

“oh she relied “but we have no other seats…”

First before I continue… how does a family of 4 book flights travel down together on one flight and this mess happens on the way back.???(side bar sorry)

“But let me try and figure this all out “ the lady states “and see what we can do”
This problem now has taken nearly 1 hour of me standing there with very impatient kids wondering whats going on.. Yes adding stress to the holiday . The reason its takes so long is the lady is continuing to help other customers rather than me as she really doesn’t know how to FIX the error. She calls in some senior people for assistants and they try together to resolve. After another 20 mins of them both working on it. The one lady says.. I have to get to the gate I have to go..” and literally disappears from the scene.. Left me having to wait for the more senior employee to deal with me… with yes only 20 mins left before departing making the wait well over an hour and yes very stressful for a family travelling with young kids..

So I approach this senior employee face to face and then she says to me “flying with Alaska sir”… I almost fell over.. I said yeah I’m the guy who has stood here for an hour trying to figure this out” oh yeah right sorry” was the reply…
( I know they see 1000’s of people but c’mon)
Anyway few more minutes pass and hands me 4 boarding passes and says “while you won’t like the seats but its all we can do” time is not on our side at this point and I grab the passes. As it turns out two kids are together and wife is in same row BUT 3 seats over And Dad is 15 rows back from family who is on a FAMILY HOLIDAY.

Begged and Pleaded
After my wife begged and pleaded to the reluctant people and with no help from flight crew she convinced them to “switch” seats so the 3 three can Sit together and she can take of the 3 and 5 yr old during the flight…. all worked out for them but I’m still 15 rows back.. Not the end of the world but again it’s a FAMILY Having said all that we came to terms with this.. As we seated I asked the flight attendant that once we get leveled off would he be willing to help ask the anyone near my family if they would be willing to switch.. maybe behind them or in front but just something in the same area code… I said it’s the family in row 16 with the 2 kids” he said “I will see what I can Do”.. 1.5 hours later the flight attendant returned to my seat and said “sorry sir I didn’t see 2 kids in row 6 (yes jaw dropped just like yours just did)

Safe and sound we arrive which is the big picture… but it was at this time I decided to TWEET my thought of “Alaska Airlines Fail Fail… How do they manage?”
Never Again
And it was at this point that I decided to never fly with Alaska Airlines again……. How do they manage to operate.. if small business did this we would have to close doors…. I understand flights are delayed, luggage is lost, food is bad whatever… I would never dare to complain about such petty things.
I guess I won’t truly understand until my 45 days is up and someone from Alaska Airlines cares that a customer has had a bad experience.

Gibby Goes to Scottsdale Arizona

2010-01-29T12:47:00.001-08:00

Gibby Goes to Scottsdale Arizona

Travelling to
Well another exciting trip to Arizona. Of course as mentioned in many other blogs., travel from Tofino to anywhere is project and this time was no exception. Of course it all starts with the wonderful, affordable ferry ride. Did I mention I hate the ferry.

Going over to the mainland the night before is mandatory as there is no way we can catch any morning flight from YVR unless we arrive the required 3 hour prior to departing time line now set.

As we are patiently waiting for our flight to depart we learn the flight has been cancelled. No delay , no warning and of course no news just a flashing sign that says cancelled. Like many other passengers we had no idea what was happening. After a few minutes of people, texting, and calling and wondering we learn that the State of Arizona has had the 100 year storm just blow in. In fact the state has just declared a state of emergency and serve tornado warnings are in effect GREAT….

After some phone calls , emails whatever, we are still determined to leave YVR, the problem is the Phoenix airport has been closed. What do we do now.

Vegas, Maui, Florida, Cancun all of these options were floated, but none seem too real. After cancelling fights from West Jet we found an Alaskan flight going to Seattle and then on to Phoenix. We took our chances and quickly booked. Once arriving in Seattle we have heard all flights going to PHX will be re directed to Vegas for the night. GREAT.. wrong they were our flight was the only flight let into PHX now arriving at 1:00 Am in the morning. So approx 17 hours later we finally arrive. I think we spent more money on beer in the airports than we did on our flights.

Golfing in Scottsdale

Well its Friday and the storm is still around . grey skies and cold but we all determined to play golf. We happen to be staying on the 9th green at Troon North (above picture from patio) and decided we should start there . The course is great, it was a bit cold that day but we all managed.

Second round we were very fortunate to play whisper Rock. This place is un real good We were lucky to be hosted by a member there Mike Johnsonn who treated us to a day of luxury. It was great to see People like Tim Herron, Dan Quail, Bones, Gary Maccord and many other people with wonderful stories to tell about how they “made it” After leaving there you truly felt like pinching yourself.

Day 3 of Golf was set for the Scottsdale Country club but plans got changed when another member fro Whisper Rock offered to take us out again to play the upper course. The upper course was very picturesque and was my favorite of the two. Of course we jumped at the opportunity to play here again and were told about the amazing milkshakes.. they were good .

Sunday was an off day for football reasons. We plunked down at a table in the Temple sorts bar and didn’t move for 8 hours . Great games and lots of beer and wings another victory for me..

Eating in Scottsdale

Dinning out in Scottsdale may have been my highlight. We dine at two places that standout to me and may be the two best meals I've ever had.

First we visited Mastros where the steaks are huge and the Martinis are even bigger. This place has been featured on the popular show entourage and there is no doubt why .

The Second place was called the Ocean Club owned by the same owner as Mastros but had a different feel more of a club feel but still amazing. Here we took down what is called the seafood TOWER and a tower it is. Oddly enough our server was from Maple Ridge. After a number of pre and après cocktails ,a nd very full bellys,we decided we needed one more stop to cap the trip off. The Blue Martini was the place of choice. I’m not much of a cluber but you couldn’t help love this place, drinks were cold, and of course the Scenery was ok….

Before long we found ourselves going back on the plane were it all started… Ahhh

And now its just going to be the memories of that time in Arizona. Thanks Kang, Longy, and Bax for the good times.

Gibbys Top Ten Golf Courses

2010-01-13T10:33:00.000-08:00

Gibby’s Top 10 Golf Courses played.

As 2010 is finally here, and many golf years have passed I thought it would be time to create my top 10 list.
I feel very fortunate to even right a blog about the top 10 golf courses I have played. Its been truly a luxury and many memories so far . I’m looking forward to many more experiences to come.

#1
Royal Colwood Golf Club (Victoria B.C.)

I could consider this my home course so yes a bit biases, but I still feel it’s my favorite. The old growth trees and the amazing greens have made this one of my most memorable experiences. Since being a member there for nearly 25 years now, I look forward the annual round I get to play with the boys.

#2
Valderma Club De Golf (Sotogrande Cadiz Spain)
One of the most amazing golf experiences ever. This trip to Spain was a lasting memory and to have the opportunity to play this wonderful course. Even though the course was in off season and gardens were dormant, the views looking back over the club house and the valley were awesome. The legendary 17th was everything it was made out to be.

#3
Southern Highlands (Las Vegas Nevada)
This is one of the most exclusive clubs I have played. Home to the UNLV golf team it was a real pleasure to play here. The company of fellow golf pros was fantastic and we still talk about that “time in Vegas” The course condition was amazing, and the service was even better. I think we might have been the only group on the course and still seen the beverage cart 4 times.

#4
Kapalua Golf Resort Plantation Course (Maui Hawaii)
Home of the Mercedez championship for years this course is a very special place. No wonder why the tour loves it here. The feeling of walking through the huge doors onto the first tee is great. Looking out into the ocean and seeing a glimpse of whales breeching makes any bad shot go away. The winds are very tough and getting used to the grain in the greens is tougher. My wife and I had to walk the course due to rain and she was 7 months pregnant. WOW. What a trooper.

#5
Marine Drive Golf and Country Club (Vancouver B.C.)
This place is always a treat when I get to play. Usually it’s with great friends and the course has never let me down from a condition stand point. I can never play well here but always leave there loving the moment. I love going through he club house a seeing all the history on the walls and all the champions the club produces. A true golf experience that I love.

#6
Maui Country Club (Maui Hawaii)
This may surprise some.. but for some reason just love this course. A very small nine hole golf course located 15 minutes north of Kihei. I guess why I love it so much, was it was very exclusive for no real reason. Public can only play on Mondays and the rest of the week the course is closed to an exclusive list. This course was one of the original courses that movie stars and celebs would play on there holidays, and the course has maintained this status. A very fun course that your wife, and family would enjoy. If you can get on.

#7
Storey Creek Golf Club (Campbell River BC)
If you like the outdoors and the feel of wilderness golf, you will like this one. Every hole you feel like you are alone. Surrounded by huge trees and wilderness. The course is always in fantastic condition and the down to earth, blue collar feel is nice. With all the new developments in golf it’s nice to play a golf course with zero houses along the fairways.

#8
Long Beach Golf Course (Tofino BC.)
I have to include this one. It’s were I live, work and it provides me with this wonderful life I have, having said that the course is truly a gem. Its pure golf. You truly feel that you have the course to yourself. Yes a bit rugged at times but the greens are pure a roll nicely. The local wilderness of bears, cougars, and wolves, keeps you on your toes as you never know when one is lurking. Its truly the only place were one day you can be playing with a lawyer from New York and the next day playing with a logger from Ucluelet. It a very special place. (http://www.longbeachgolfcourse.com/)

#9
Makkena Golf Course South (Maui Hawaii)
Another Hawaii course I know but, truly is a wonderful place. Could be home to my favorite hole the 14th looking down over the ocean and having the feeling that you can hammer the driver anywhere. The views of the pacific and the whale watching opportunities are endless. I have enjoyed the memories there as again have been with many of my PGA of BC peers. I liked it so much Makkena was on the list in naming our first born. (but lost that vote)

#10
Troon Golf and Country Club (Phoenix Arizona)
Speaking of exclusive this place was un real, not that it’s all that important to make my list as you can tell. However sometimes it’s nice to play these places that typically you never would. The golf course and service here are top shelf. Again the company of some friend’s makes any golf outing. The course is a difficult test insuring you stay out of the dessert areas, and the greens were very fast. If you ever get the opportunity to play Troon Country Club jump on it. And don’t bring cash they don’t take it!!!

Three notables not on the list but great.. Superstition Golf Resort (Phoenix Arizona) , Victoria Golf Club (Victoria BC) Nicklaus North Golf Club (Whistler B.C.)

Like I said I have been very fortunate to have this list. I look forward in adding and changing the list over my golf years to come. As there are many golf course that are fantastic that aren’t on my top ten doesn’t mean they are not worthy. In some cases the golf courses listed have very special memoires either playing with my buds, wife, kids whatever that made it that more memorable. Hopefully by 2020 the list has completely changed. Happy Golfing

Gibby goes to Sun Peaks Resort

2010-01-07T14:19:00.000-08:00

PGA of BC Board
As mentioned in my previous blog being in the golf business allows for some interesting travel. Again being involved with the PGA of BC board of directors allowed for this year’s trip, returning to Sun Peaks Resort.
The PGA of BC board meets every year in January, addressing the up coming budget, policy and procedures. In addition to the business end, the board feels it’s a nice time of year to include some family gatherings in the form of a group dinner. Some board members choose to travel alone still and get a break, while others embrace the opportunity.

Sun Peaks Resort has been the chosen place to host these meeting for the past two years. Some would wonder why all the way to Sun Peaks to host a meeting. The truth is in 2008 the PGA hosted a Pro-Lady golf event there (which Team Long Beach won.) The attendance for that event was poor, and we had booked a number of hotel rooms that did not get filled. The Delta Hotel in Sun Peaks was kind enough to offer a credit for these un used rooms.

What a better place to host the January board meeting, were the families can enjoy the outdoors, and gather for a great dinner.

Sun Peaks Resort
Sun peaks Resort is located approx 35 minutes from the town of Kamloops. It’s a great drive providing the roads are clear which they were. Upon arriving in the ski/ golf resort I was amazed of how easy everything was to find. The village is laid out so perfectly. This may be from my prior visits, but the place makes you feel very comfortable.

Delta Hotels
As mentioned we were staying in the Delta Hotel at Sun Peaks. This very large property extends over most of the village and is impossible to miss.
The Service at the front desk was great as they checked us in and directed us to the underground parking. Our truck couldn’t fit in the parking space provided for us as the ceiling was to low, but the Delta staff made other arrangements for us.

Fun in the Snow
Monday was out meeting day so the wife and kids enjoyed some snow time, making snow angels and finding a hill to use their crazy carpets. The next day was free for all and we decided to enroll the kids in ski lessons.
They both loved the experience. Learning to ski at 3 and 4 years old I’m sure is the best way, and not from their poor skiing parents.. After Skiing we decided to swim some more in the outdoor pool and hot tub. The -14 temp freezes the tops of your head so you have to make sure your underwater every couple of minutes.

The tube park was the next thing on the list. Great fun zipping down the tube line. We actually had a good wipe out here as one of the tubes flipped over. Good thing the 3 year old didn’t go flying off.

Having booked into the hotel we had no choice to dine at the restaurant for every meal. As one tends to gets tired of hotel food this was not the case here. Mantels Bar and Grill had great food and great service. They took care of the kids so well, and made the entire experience very memorable.

All in all Sun Peaks Resort is an excellent choice for a ski, and or golf getaway, it has everything a family needs to enjoy the outdoors. The service was fantastic for the entire three days,and would recommend this trip to anyone.
We are not very ski savvy, but felt very comfortable with everything.
As the PGA of BC board has used up the credit from the Delta its doubtful we will return in 2011 for our annual meeting, but it would be my hopes to return with the family some day.

Range Rat Rants

2009-12-15T11:18:00.000-08:00

10 Year staff member, at Longbeach Golf Course, Chris Kennedy writes on Tiger Woods

The Range Rat Rants—Media Asks Tiger, “Have an Accident?” Woods Replies, “No Thanks, I Just Had One.”

Actually, Tiger didn’t say anything at all, following the minor accident that gained an avalanche of media attention.

In case you hadn’t heard, Tiger was involved in a small car accident. He smashed into a tree and a fire hydrant, thus making himself the mortal enemy of all the dogs in the neighborhood.

Why did Tiger smash into both a fire hydrant and a tree?
He couldn’t decide whether to hit a wood or an iron.

Okay, this is the situation, as reported by such credible sources as miscellaneous bloggers and crackpot gossip mongers and sensationalist entertainment shows and Larry King: at 2:30 in the morning, on the Friday morning after the American Thanksgiving Tiger had driven his car into a tree outside his Orlando home. Speculation is that Tiger and his wife, Elin, were having a heated discussion about his “affair” with a hottie named Rachel Uchitel. Presumably fleeing from his wife, a distracted Tiger ended up smashing his Cadillac Escalade just outside the gates of his home.

Tiger Humor

It was Tiger’s worst drive ever. It’s the first time he drove less than 200 yards.
Tiger was trapped in his car. Elin (who just happened to have a golf club in her hand) smashed out the rear window of the Cadillac Escapade and rescued an unconscious Tiger. She pulled him out of the car, and a neighbor phoned 9-1-1.

Tiger was one under car.

There is a lot of conjecture that Elin had already used the golf club on Tiger prior to the accident.
What do Tiger Woods and a baby seal have in common?
They’ve both been clubbed by Norweigans.

What were Tiger and his wife Elin doing at 2:30 in the morning?
They were out clubbing.

It was announced that Tiger will be dropped from this years Ryder Cup team.
He keeps getting beat by Europeans.

The police asked Elin how many times she had hit him. “Let me see,” said Elin. “There was one in the living room, and one in the front hallway, and one on the porch (or was it two?), oh hell, just put me down for a five.”

Last week, it was reported on one of those “entertainment/gossip” shows that Tiger was having an affair with a New York hostess. As the week progressed, more and more women, including a couple of adult film actresses, exposed themselves as having had liaisons with “Cheetah” Woods. Why Tiger would feel the urge to stray when he has a beautiful blonde bikini model wife is hard to say.

Show me a beautiful woman and I’ll show you a man who is tired of sleeping with her.

Tiger has been linked to a couple of adult film actresses. And why not? We all know that that he’s clutch with the money shots.

And exactly how hot can these other woman be? There could be a multitude of psychological reasons for Tiger indulging in his baser urges, but when you get right down to it, Tiger is all about collecting trophies.

Tiger Sex
“Sex is one of the most beautiful, wholesome, and natural experiences that money can buy.” Steve Martin

Widely reported is the phone call Tiger made to one of his women, begging her to delete his number from speed dial. The subsequent calls he made to the women he has littered all over the country—Tiger Woods’ Cocktail Waitresses Across America Tour—probably went something like this:

“Uh, Cindy (Mandy, Brandi, Candi, Tiffany, Kayla, etc.)? If a cute blonde shows up at your door carrying a golf club don’t, I repeat, don’t open the door.”

Following the accident, Tiger was rushed to the hospital, where he was checked out and allowed to return home. On Monday, it was officially announced that Tiger was withdrawing from his own tournament, the Chevron World Challenge. (He’s too embarrassed to admit that he doesn’t have a ride.) Again, there were rumors that he was too badly beaten up to make a public appearance. (See photo).

Tiger refused to speak to the Florida police, although they did threaten to send in David Caruso. In fact, he refused to say anything at all, which led to another flurry of conjecture and rumors.

The Florida Highway Patrol did charge Tiger with careless driving, which will cost Tiger, if he is convicted, a whopping $164 and 4 points on his driving license. The FHP made it clear that they showed no favoritism or bias in handing out the judgment, which was a totally unnecessary thing for them to say unless they were guilty of the offense, and weren’t wearing new Nike sportswear and Tag Heuer watches at the time.

Tiger finally did make a statement in which he cited that he is human (debatable) and that he has made several transgressions. He then followed up his apology with a diatribe against the media for not offering him privacy. It was as if he were saying, “Keep buying the stuff that I endorse, but for god’s sakes leave me alone. Thanks for all the loot. Now get lost.”

Tiger was looking for a support group but couldn’t find one for men “who cheat on their hot Swedish wives.”

One of those gossip TV shows reported that Tiger had told a friend that Elin had “gone ghetto.”

“I may have to run out to Zales and buy a Kobe Special,” said Tiger. When asked what a Kobe Special was, Tiger told him it was a gigantic diamond like the one Kobe Bryant had bought his wife when he was up on rape charges, a “house on a finger.”

But the story won’t and hasn’t gone away. Tiger, who still hasn’t made a public appearance since the story broke, did make a statement on his web site in which he admitted infidelity and that he was taking an “indefinite break” from tournament golf.

In the meantime, Tiger’s lawyers have taken steps to block the publication of any naked pictures or sex tapes that may or may not exist. This could be a mistake. After all, look at what the release of sex tapes did for the careers of Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson. With the release of a sex tape, Tiger’s career could really take off.

Tiger's Sponsors
Naturally, there has been a lot of speculation about Tiger’s sponsors, and the persona that they wanted so desperately to be part of. Gatorade pulled out immediately, but they did say that they were thinking about doing so before the whole shitstorm started. There was a joke that Gillette dropped him when Tiger admitted, after the accident, that it was the “closest shave” he has ever had.

Late-night talk show hosts have had a field day with Tiger Wood’s jokes.

“What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?”
Santa Claus usually stops after three “ho’s”.

Personalities as diverse as Hugh Hefner and John Daly have made public statements about the Tiger affair(s), and have offered their opinions on what Tiger should do. These are hardly experts on marital bliss. If Tiger listened to their advice, or if he listens to anyone’s advice, it would hardly come from one of these characters. He might just as well take swing tips from Doctor Phil.

And the PGA tour is, quite rightfully, concerned about the absence of their marquee attraction in the upcoming months. Tiger was exciting and charismatic, and he brought a whole new audience to golf. The PGA tour is concerned that it might see a return to the “dark ages” when televised golf consists largely of watching one drone (with the personality and charisma of a household appliance) duke it out with another drone. Ho hum.

Maybe Tiger was tired of being Tiger. Maybe the pressure of portraying this symbol of indomitable perfection took its toll. Maybe Tiger wanted to come down off the pedestal and be human and flawed and vulnerable for a while. It worked.

Elin has bought a 2.2 million dollar mansion on an island outside of Stockholm. You can bet that she didn’t pay for it with the money she earned as a nanny—the job she had when she met Tiger. There are rumors that the prenuptial agreement that she and Tiger agreed to has been changed, and that she has now moved up to #2 on golf’s all time money winning list. (Tiger presented her with a giant check). Elin will take the kids to her new island home and wonder if Tiger is the guy that she wants her children to spend weekends with.

Tiger Leaves Golf
And Tiger will, at some point, return. And maybe the fans and the media won’t be so quick to put Tiger on a pedestal. And sure, there will be whispers and laughter that Tiger will have to tune out. And he will, and he will win more golf tournaments, but his star will never shine quite so brightly again. And Tiger will be Tiger again, whether he likes it or not.

This Blog has been wrtten by Chris Kennedy . To read more of Chris's Rants visit http://www.longbeachgolfcourse.com/ under the weekly newsletter tab.

Multiplex Needs Your Support

2009-12-12T12:05:00.000-08:00

Keith Gibby Gibson on the West Coast Multiplex

I sit on the board for the West Coast Multiplex in hopes to one day get the much needed Ice arena, and swimming pool that the areas desperately needs. Currently Tofino and Ucluelet are the only towns in Canada of its size without such facilities.

Multiplex Lottery
The Westcoast Multiplex Society is holding a lottery to raise seed capital. The money raised will be used to do an environmental assessment, and soil sampling of the airport lands, and the preliminary design drawings of the swimming pool/ arena complex. The grand prize package consists of a 2010 Toyota Tundra Platinum supplied by Echo Toyota, a 2010 20ft Weldcraft boat complete with a 150 hp Mercury motor with a tandem trailer, and a 2009 450 Suzuki quad with an automatic transmission supplied by Rod's Power and Marine. Early bird prizes include an all inclusive weekend at Clayoquot Wilderness Resort, a getaway package at Crystal Cove Resort, a golf package from Long Beach Golf Course and a 32 inch plasma T.V. from The Place. Only 5000 tickets are being sold. Tickets are $50.00 each or 3 for $125.00. Applications for tickets can be purchased in Ucluelet at Murray's Grocery, Ukee Dogs, and The Place T.V. and in Tofino at LA Grocery, Rod's Power and Marine, Slegg Lumber and the Long Beach Golf course, or for your convenience, you can fill out the form on the back of this letter and mail it with a check or money order. Also, watch for sales tables at local businesses like the Co-op groceries and the liquor stores throughout the holiday shopping season. Official tickets will be mailed out on January 15th.

Impact on the WestCoast
The Westcoast Multiplex Society is a group of volunteers that are actively trying to bring this much needed facility to our communities. It is our mandate to find an affordable way to make it a reality with out creating another tax burden for our citizens. The need for such a facility is very apparent. Each year families move out of our communities so that they are able to access and enjoy the benefits that come from such facilities. The impact that this has on our communities is immeasurable. The business communities lose good staff, the schools lose students, the volunteer organizations lose members, we all lose friends and on it goes. Likewise, the appeal for families to move to our area is limited because of the lack of faculties, directly affecting the service sectors of the communities, such as schools, the hospital etc. For those of us who do stay, it is difficult to find places to gather and get to know one another. Also, the children have very limited opportunities to learn to compete and to participate in healthy activities. From early November until March it is dark early and the rains make it difficult to be out doors.

We Need Your Help
We are asking the citizens of our communities to step up and help us make this facility a reality. By supporting our lottery, you will be contributing to the heath and well being of the child in all of us. Likewise, you will be furthering the possibilities of our communities coming together to Live, Work and Play. And the bonus is that several supporters will win one of the fabulous prizes. Tickets will make great Christmas gifts and gift certificates are available. For businesses wanting to give there staff a great gift, you are allowed to give a one time gift of up to $100.00 that is not a taxable benefit to the employee, but that can be used as a tax write off for the business.

Come on Westcoast, show us you care by purchasing your tickets today! Contact Gibby at golf@island.net and I can help you with your purchase.

Planes,Trains,and Automobiles

2009-12-05T12:44:00.000-08:00

Another trip for Gibby!

Being in the Golf business allows for some good travel. But Let me tell you anywhere from Tofino always seems like work.

Vegas Golf
My end goal is to get to Florida for Canadian PGA meetings. I know that the trip will be long so I decided to break the trip up with a small stop (3 days ) in the wonderful town of Las Vegas. Vegas gives me two things; First play some golf in warm sunny weather and second, a visit with my mom, as she likes to winter in Sin City.

Upon my arrival in the Las Vegas International Airport (which is a gong show by the way), I quickly got my luggage and I’m ready to hit the tee. The chosen golf course is Boulder Creek, which is located approx 25 minutes from Vegas and is a very quite little spot. Some developer had great plans for a residential golf property but ended loosing everything. The town of Boulder Creek had to buy the property and has tried to continue the operations of the 27 hole property. Boulder Creek golf resort is undiscovered in my opinion, the greens are perfect and from tee to green is just wonderful. It is also a good test of golf precise drives to avoid the desert is a must and the very difficult and fast greens will get you if you’re not careful. The green fee is reasonable at $42.00 including a power cart, much more affordable then the $100-$150 you would pay closer to the strip. I enjoyed two rounds at Boulder Creek, posting both scores in the 70’s. My third round in Vegas was a place called Tuscany. It is another great value of condition and price. This course was approx 20 minutes from Vegas located in a gated community. The course actually had a frost delay and was very busy. The rate here was only $35.00 to play including a power cart. Enjoyed the round with two visitors from of all places Canada and one guy who was from Nanaimo…small world. My score of 76 may have been one of my better rounds of the year.

Vegas Activities
As Vegas can be the most exciting place in the world, I always enjoy people watching the best, and there is no better place than the casino. I don’t gamble much but I enjoyed donating my $40 to the local place called the Fiesta. They seemed to need my money so my 15 minute stint at Black Jack was all for me.

I decided to spend my money more wisely and thought a movie would have more appeal. It’s been a while since I have been to a movie and didn’t realize the seats actually reclined. Love that feature. The Blind Side was the movie of choice, very very good and Sandra Bullock was great.

If you are a sports fan how can you beat Vegas. I decided to use one of the nights to go see the UNLV running Rebels basketball game. I love watching college basketball and watching it live makes it that much better. The rebels beat the very poor team of Holy Cross. Its fun to see the student body get crazy (I’m not sure but alcohol may be a factor).

Canadian Professional Golfers Association
As my Vegas time line has nearly expired I know have some more travel to the east. Florida is the end destination and more specific, Port St Lucie, which is a two hour drive down the Florida turn pike. The goal here was to power through two days of Canadian PGA meetings. After the first day of the meetings was over we learned that day two isn’t needed. Must be the efficiency of the association or lack of planning, I’m not sure which. Needles to say it left the door open for some to play golf and some people (me) could enjoy some football in the local sports pub called Duffy’s. This place was home to 55 TV’s with every game on except the Grey Cup (who knew). It was heaven. They also had the best wings I have ever had. As the Florida visit came to an end, along with the meetings my return flight back was Orlando, to Charlotte to Vegas and finally to Vancouver. I landed at 4:25 and made a mad rush to catch the 5:45 ferry to Duke Point and finally a three hour drive home.

Two stops at Tim Horton’s and I finally arrived home…there’s no place like home!

Keith ‘Gibby’ Gibson Visits the Big City of Vancouver.

2009-11-18T11:40:00.000-08:00

On November the 10th I began my journey to the big city. I use the words journey as it truly is anytime one leaves the small town of Tofino.

It all starts with the 3 hour drive to the ferry terminal. The BC ferry’s is such a wonderful means of public transportation. You need to arrive 1 hour ahead to insure a spot and plus they charge you a weekly pay cheque to travel with them. I have traveled the ferry for many years and it’s been a long time since I haven’t seen someone i know, and of course this time was no different.

Meeting fellow Golf Professionals
Once I arrived in Vancouver I met a fellow golf professional friend, Derek Thornely, as we are getting ready to meet with the Executive Director of the PGA of BC. We meet at the wonderful Mayfair Lakes golf course where I always enjoy a quick visit with Head Professional Jamie Baxter. Derek and I decide to travel together to the meeting in Derek’s BMW. Note to self, that I will never get a Beeemer as they are not made for gents who are 6’7. After I finally got in the car we made our way to the new PGA of BC office in Richmond. The space is great and very welcoming to all.

Coal Harbour, Downtown Vancouver
After the meeting I attempt to make my way into Coal Harbour. I use the words attempt as my Tom Tom GPS lead my down the wrong path and it felt like I was walking my car in traffic. After 1 hour of City driving I arrive safe and sound in Coal Harbor where I was to meet friends Tara and Jeff Ciecko for a little Mexican flare. I checked into my suite which was 11 floors above them, on the 23rd floor, in this fantastic room they have available for guests. After a few very refreshing beverages we decide to make our way over to the Westin Bay shore to register for the NGCOA Golf Business Conference and Trade Show, after all that is why I was there.

Upon registering we decided to have a drink at the pub in the Westin called the Seawall. It is a very nice place to enjoy the game, and to catch up with some friends. We decided going back to the Ciecko’s for dinner and a great place to enjoy some Tin Horn Creek (grape) as Jeff calls it.

National Golf Course Owners Conference and Trade Show
Day 2 the official starting day of the NGCOA conference. Its opening Keynote speaker was Mr. Gary Player. What a great way to start this conference. MR. Player was very passionate speaker on health and wellness. In addition his passion for water conservation was very high on his message list.

The day was followed by an awards dinner to recognize Mr. Player with a life time achievement award. This award dinner was held at the Old Vancouver Convention center, which was disappointing as I, and many of delegates, were hoping to be in the new one. As everything is walking distance from Coal Harbour we made our way to the grand dinner. We decide to take a small break in the walk to a place called the Mill. The Mill is great social place, and I would assume if you visited there often they would call you by name. The “winter Ale” was fantastic. But had to run, need to get to the dinner. Dinner was fantastic and I even managed to capture a Gary Player autograph.

Downtown Watering Holes
As the November Holiday was a bit restricting we were able to find a few watering holes. First we made our way to a place called Steamworks. This is where I was reminded that Bud Light Lime is really Sprite and the original Bud Light Lime is called “Corona” the cheeky bar tender told me, but I got the hint after all it was a brew pub.

After I couldn’t stand the sassiness we made our way to a place called Chill Winston, closer to Yaletown. This place was very cool! They had a great selection of Martinis and many more exciting beverages. They even had Red Stripe that brought back memories of my Cayman Island Days (another Blog). Just when we thought the night was over, we just needed one more and my suite became the next stop. As the worlds problems were being solved into 5:00 AM we quickly realized with help from a text reminder that the conference was to start Day 2 in just three hours. After all that’s why we were there!!!

Tofino Geese

2009-11-09T10:36:00.000-08:00

Geese and Golf
Every fall, just when it seems as though life is wonderful, the geese arrive en masse to shatter that illusion. Flocks of geese fly overhead and look down at our fairways and say to one another, “oh, look, there’s a great place for us to crap!”

And so they do. Immediately upon landing, they christen the fairways with their crap. They crap incessantly. They crap in their sleep. They crap on top of their previous craps. They create little mountains of crap. Perhaps the more artistic geese create little crap sculptures. There is no end to the crap.

Green and Slimy
Their crap, like all crap, is revolting. It is green and slimy and resembles malevolent worms. It sticks to everything. It is impossible to avoid, for even the word’s champion hopscotch player. After nine holes the average golfer has so much crap attached to his spikes he is 7 inches taller, and is hitting all of his shots thin. The pull carts have so much crap surrounding the wheels that the tires refuse to spin, so golfers actually pull their trolleys as though they were sleds. The power carts bog down in the crap and refuse to go further. It’s disgusting.

How to Get Rid of the Geese
Iwent online to find information on how to get rid of geese and was immediately transferred to a site that showed me pictures of young Ukrainian girls in bikinis. After a few hours of research, I resumed looking for information on getting rid of geese.

Basically, there were all sorts of ideas about how to get rid of geese including using dog decoys, real dogs, dead geese decoys, and lasers but the one that appealed the most to me was the option KILL THEM ALL.

Long Beach Golf Course and Campground

2009-11-02T22:30:00.000-08:00

It is a ground breaking day for us at the Long Beach Golf Course and Campground as today we launched our Blog (you're here, so remember to book mark it), our Twitter account (@longbeachgolf) and our You Tube page.

While we are still developing our content, we hope to be adding a lot of new information over the coming weeks to all sites including Gibby's weekly video blog on You Tube. So...be sure to check back often!

We look forward to connecting and sharing our story with you often. In the meantime, feel free to view information about us on our website.

Keith "Gibby" Gibson
Blogger, Tweeter and Vlogger
Long Beach Golf Course and Campground